Diary Tales From Jacob
by Oshean
Summary: Jacob writes in his diary, his diary writes back but not anymore xD. Jacob is OOC XD
1. Jacob Black

**Diary Tales From Jacob**

Dear Diary,

Hello old friend! It's me again, Jacob Black. It's been a while now, but who cares. I'm writing this before Edward and I get into a big fight! BELLA WILL BE MINE DIARY SHE WILL SHE WILL I TELL YOU! D Okay, well since I haven't been writing in you for a while now, I guess I should explain who Edward and Bella are. Edward is a really stupid vampire and I am a werewolf. Yes. We are enemies. AND I HATE EDWARD. HE LOVES BELLA, BUT I LIKE BELLA TOO! Oh yeah, Bella is a human girl. She's really super special awesome and cool and all that. Okay so Edward and I are going to get into a big fight! I hope I win! No, I KNOW I'LL WIN! BECAUSE I AM A VAMPIRE! No. I'm not a vampire. I AM A WEREWOLF! YAY! I have all those big claws and teeth and all and I'm really cool! Aren't I Diary? I'M COOL RIGHT? PLEASE SAY I'M COOL! D: Oh yeah. I better hurry up and go fight him now. Good bye Diary!

With much love,

Jacob Black

P.S. : I got a haircut! Isn't it great:D


	2. Jacob Black  The Reply

**Diary Tales From Jacob - The Reply**

Dear Jacob Black,

Yes it has been a while. I was wondering if you'll still use me or not. Dx And I cares! Edward sounds like a very annoying vampire. :O Bella sounds like a very nice girl. She sounds super special awesome. :D I'm sure you'll win! Don't say you're a vampire EVER again. YAY! YOU'RE A WEREWOLF! Big claws might hurt me. ;-; Please don't hurt me. GOOD LUCK FIGHTING EDWARD:D

With much love,

Diary

PS: How can I see your haircut if you don't give me pictures! GEEZ!


	3. Nature Calls

**Diary Tales From Jacob - Nature Calls**

Dear Diary,

I lost the fight because in the middle of the fight, I needed to go to the bathroom so Edward was all "Hahahahaha you forfeit cause you need to go to the bathroom!" And I'm like "IT'S NOT MY FAULT NATURE CALLS! D: " And he was all "I went before I had to fight!" and I was all "So did I! I just drink more than you!" and and and and IT'S NOT FAIR DIARY! D: And I would never hurt you! Edward might hurt you though. I mean, he hurt my haircut! Now I have a baldspot. :( IT'S BIG AND UGLY DIARY! BIG AND UGLY! Just like that time when I accidentally cut your edges off and had to tape it back on! You still have tape all over you you know! But don't worry Diary! I have a hair growth formula! Do you think there's such thing as an edges growth formula? I don't know. I have to go now Diary. Nature calls.

With much love,

Jacob Black


	4. Just a Diary

**Diary Tales From Jacob - Just a Diary  
**

Dear Jacob Black,

I'm so sorry that you lost because nature calls. I cannot relate, after all, I _am_ just a diary. Well, not just a diary, I'm a diary with a loving owner! I'm sorry this reply took so long, I've also been writing to Edward Cull- I mean... Edward... Elric. Yeah that weird Fullmetal dude. Yes. Jacob Black, I think you are the best werewolf I've ever written to! Not counting Sam Ulley though cause he writes SO much more than you! I mean, yes. You are still the best. Okay so moving on. I am not just a diary. I am the best diary ever. Okay? Okay. SO I HAVE TO GO! Uh... Nature calls. And such. Not Edward. Yeah. Nature.

With much love,

Diary


	5. Fireflies

**Diary Tales From Jacob - Fireflies**

Dear Diary,

You wouldn't believe what I saw today! I saw Bella! She was... She was... She was with Edward! I couldn't believe it! They were catching fireflies! I mean like... TOGETHER! What is WRONG with THAT! I mean, I can understand if you go try and catch butterflies or something, or maybe even jellyfish (like in Spongebob! I LOVE that show)! But FIREFLIES! Who catches FIREFLIES anymore! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! It's just so sad... So so sad... But the not sad this was that Bella caught 4 fireflies! If I were trying to catch them, I would only catch like, 1! That's so amazing Bella! I HAVE to congratulate her on that. : Oh yes, I also overheard them say that they were going bowling! I HAVE to come! Then I can beat Edward without nature ever calling!

With much love,

Jacob Black


	6. Bowling

Okay so I haven't been updating these much. XD; I'm so lazy. xP So I don't think I should do replies from the diary anymore. :P What do you guys think?

And thank you for all your favs and reviews and alerts! x3

* * *

**Diary Tales From Jacob - Bowling**

Dear Diary,

UGH! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. D I have made a decision! I completely and utterly hate bowling! And now I'm going to tell you about it even though you won't even care! OKAY! SO, I just walked in that bowling arena place thing whatever you call it, and guess what? Bella was there! I was so happy to see her! But she was all talking to Edward and didn't see me at all! UGH! STUPID EDWARD CULLEN!

BUT! I DO have good news! I scored a perfect 10 on the balance beam! I mean... I made a strike or something... The perfect 10 was uh something else...

With much love,

Jacob Black


End file.
